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Every Lonely Man Needs A Woman

Who doesn't love this;

"O.J. Simpson just robbed George Bush at knife point while Brad Pitt made out with Hannah Montana on top of a pile of Hilary Duff's underwear in Dane Cook's room after midnight which was against Bill Cosby and The Cosby Show's rules so Hulk and Brooke Hogan called up Flava Flav and New York and they all decided to forget the whole thing, become Freemasons, and get high with Paris Hilton's dog who had just broken up with Duane, Dwayne, Doofus face Dog Chapman so it was rather messy like eating contests until Martha Stewart and Rachel Ray busted in and cleaned the joint up with OxyClean and other interesting cleaning products that they stole out of the hands of Britney Spears' childern as K-Fed and A-Rod and P-Diddy and J-Lo and Jay-Z and 50 Cent played volleyball in the backyard with OutKast and Elvis and the owners of the room were very pleased and decided to invite everyone to the Oscars, Super Bowl, NBA Finals, World Series, World Series of Poker, NCAA Final Four, BCS Title Game, and a NASCAR race on a day when Timbaland isn't sucking it up so much which might be never so Donald Trump, who appeared out of nowhere (or R. Kelly's closet, we're not sure) demanded the entire Universe be sold at once to the highest bidder which turned out to be a very high ranking Reptilain Overlord called Hicklin The Elder and better known to you as Hilary Clinton and she bought it and she remodled it after an 18th century den of iniquity and pretended she was in Las Vegas until Obama, Romney, Guiliani, Edwards, Thompson, and Oprah in spirit form came hauling butt chased by the Ron Paul Revolution which survived the Hilary rule by burrowing deep in the Hallow Earth tunnels, researching the Illuminati, New World Order, and Kurt Cobain suicide, drinking lots of herbal tea, and singing songs written by the White Stripes, the Rolling Stones, the Who, Run DMC, Eminem, Dr. Dre, Eazy E, James Brown, Daniel Johnston, Beck, the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Eve, Justin Timberlake, Ludacris, Kid Rock, and Van Halen who have all had sex with Pamela Anderson and probally Nicole Ritchie but not Ann Coulter because she, unlike Sean Hannity or Bill O'Reily, is a man baby yeah, ask Michael Myers or Austin Powers, or even Arnold (the pig from Green Acres, or the Governator) and they'll definitely tell you that not only is that a fact but it is also a fact that this has got to be the absolutely longest run-on sentence in the history of the written word."

Sorry.

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